almost

313. I'm finally making steady process. I need to get out of my head. If I get in there, that's when I start rationalizing and coming up with excuses as to why or why not I can do things...or "start tomorrow" or..."Monday to get a fresh start."

I found that by just doing things and not getting into my head, thinking about it...things happen. Down to almost 312 this morning. (313.2)

Motivation switch

Well, down to 323. I finally found the motivation, one way or another to get out of bed at 6:08 this morning to try running. I stress "TRY". Being a larger guy, running is going to have it's challenges, of course. I didn't anticipate the challenge of the titanium plates/screws in my left leg. I can walk, power walk, miles at a time without a problem. I guess the extra shock (even with shiny new Under Armour running shoes) on the feet adds a bit more of a limp. I made it almost all the way down the street before needing to stop. It didn't help that it was 28 freaking degrees outside. Either way, this was a good start to be motivated. I could deal with the challenges of having a desk job, not being on my feet as much, even the fact that there is free soda here. I just don't think that I really had any idea of the challenges ahead of needing to learn to walk again; or learning to over come the fear of daily activities and putting any pressure down on that leg. I need to get past all of this to get where I was with Gold Cross Ambulance. Back then it was easy, all gear in hand/on back, 8 flights of stairs to a cardiac arrest, no problem. Now? yeah I'll need a nap by floor 2. Oh well. past is past, I'm just glad I found the switch in my head to move forward.

Day 9

Not much to say, just recording weight:

324.3 -2.2 from last Tuesday

Day 6

This weekend has been more about relaxing than anything. We're exploring new endeavors that may change the course of this life. We'll find out sometime this week if we're moving forward with it. I will change this post/add more info if this does happen. good news is, still down a pound without touching soda as much.

Day 3

Not much done today, just keeping the calorie count down. 2 sodas today, still a huge change considering what my normal intake is.

consumed: 1784
burned: 3363
1579 Deficit

Day 2

Today wasn't too bad, I think that the caffeine withdrawal started to kick in a little bit. I usually don't feel tired when I get home from work but today was a bit more tiring than usual.

I did have 2 sodas today but the end results weren't too bad. I decided that this week would be the best to do the caffeine kick, as well as keeping my calorie count down, next week will start the gym to add on to this. I'm happy in general about my progress.

consumed: 1809
burned: 3503
1694 Deficit

Day 1

Well, off to a good start. No caffeine at all today, no soda. maybe 2 total today, which is good compared to the 12 pack per day that I consume.

Starting weight 326.5 or so. I will weigh week by week just to see how it goes. Tonight should be my first day back at the gym. More updates later.

end of day summary:

consumed: 2056

burned: 3685

1629 Deficit

One soda today with dinner. Big decline from the 7-8-12 I drink on a daily basis. I didn't get to the gym but still have a decent deficit. No excuses this time around really, dinner was unusually late and by the time I would get to the gym and back it would be time for bed. I guess that's an excuse, but that's just life. I'm happy with today's deficit.

starting again

I can't do it any more. I seriously can't. I keep saying I'll start tomorrow and I'll be at "x" weight by "x" date; only to come up with more excuses. I keep flirting with the line of 330 lbs, and it's just not healthy; I may be healthy heart and cholesterol wise, but this weight is eventually going to sit me on the sidelines. I don't want to be the patient the Paramedics see and immediately call for more help to get me out of the house. I want to be able to fit into the clothing I own and love, and not have to worry about finding 4x; which ironically is a new low for me.

Well, I hope that today is the last day I actually say "I'll start tomorrow". Regardless, It probably won't be the P90X program just yet; gotta work my way up to that. Let's see how it goes with exercise on a daily basis.